Settle Down

Wasn’t it Rudyard who dropped that if you could keep calm whilst all around are bursting then there was a fairly good chance you could make it through the fires of Egypt crumbling. I recently spoke at a conference that celebrated the help that online existence can do for your chosen field, it can expand your idea by allowing others to appreciate your work. Amid all the very well dressed delegates it became obvious to me I was the only one individual who was wearing a hat. I felt a bit out of place but at the same time proud, uneasily I also thought that I seemed to be the only person concerned less about making money and more about ideas, I thought for a minute that this whole thing was about getting along with people, Like Gil Scott recently, he said if you’re in a position to help someone then you’ve been chosen, you need to do it whatever you’re gift, that’s not something you can keep to yourself, for your soul you must share, it helps you in the end.
Foolish.

So at the conference the stout lady proclaims her existence, her sustainability it’s got to be cost effective or die and I know I’ve been matched with my polar opposite onstage, a dragon in a den, brilliant at self promo and no time for Scott Heron Dalai Lama shit here. Contribute or Shut Up.

Part of the reasoning why I write to myself here ( few pay attention ) is that I can try work out what the fuck I’m doing on this planet, I see models become dj’s and earn far more than I have in previous leaner years because we want our icons glossy and less authentic, in turning I work hard at being reliable and less angry, a road with weeds, I take the chances I get and turn them into legendary nights of great music or recordings that are memorable, I’m at a disadvantage because I’m insecure, I don’t completely believe my world of luck, I know it’s ridiculous but I want you to like what I do for it’s idea and that way I survive this awful time and be remembered for being AK.

I don’t sleep well because people who talk about me miles away wake me up with their whispers. I hope the words are round and kind.

I don’t want wealth in great amounts I just want to believe in my wealth, do what I believe is right, fight for it because I have little else and eventually win through, tiring and stressful that that may be.

I’m urged to make more of a success of myself and for the first time I don’t think I can do anymore, I can’t sell this feeling off to anyone for a price, I just have to hope that the world will unfold naturally and unlike my mother says be visible instead of invisible, be worth something to someone.

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