Just another perfect day.

Does anyone else have apartment management problems? Usually they’re a big multi-national corporation that has offices in a couple of different cities, say they ‘Do’ a great deal but actually do very ‘Little’ and charge a ‘Lot’ for talking about it with you on the phone when you ask them ‘How come my bike was stolen from inside the buildings car-park, and you have no video of this – because the cameras don’t work?’ then – “I’m afraid we will have to charge you a fee to come and speak to you about this – we’re very busy – and after all it is your bike not ours’ THANKS. ‘Are you busy cleaning other peoples hallways and washing Their windows because you neglected to do mine recently!!

Anything that needs updating is always infuriating, like talking to the TV people – or actually what is technically termed ‘Being on hold’ -there is a sense of tension in these random conversations, they do represent bad news most of the time, they really would prefer if you sorted out your own problems and let them take €150 out of your bank a/c each week for the pleasure of supplying you with entertainment that you can download for free these days and be found on one of those infamous ‘Dodgy Boxes’ that were going around the place a year back – for god’s sake don’t mention you have one of those they’ll change your a/c card.

I even love going into shops where poor sods from mad places like Beijing and Taiwanese towns full of laptop users that plot a course to your local shop with unbelievably dire communication skills that amount to ‘No’ and ‘No’ as in ‘No’ [ Do you have those really nice Korean dumplings you had in last week – i really like them – Hey I’m Irish I never really get to talk to Chinese people – How’s your day going – feeling the recession? Do you want to be friends and have a chat about it? – ‘NO’ We don’t have the Dumplings’ – Okay, well that was great and then proceed to run out of the shop embarrassed for the rest of the day because you think it’s all your fault…like locking your bike in the car-park – that was a big mistake right? people and money [your money] equals to pressure and embarrassment which could be completely avoided if the situation involved time and tea, but I’m in dreamland right? – that’s not going to happen anytime soon is it? definitely not with the polish woman from the telly box people. ‘Sorry [ after 25 minutes waiting on the phone ] “What seems to be the problem” eh – “I’d like it if we were friends!” [ long annoying silence – muffled phone conversation as she checks can we be friends with her superior in the call centre ] “I’m sorry sir but we cannot be friends as I’m in Eastern Europe and you’re in Dublin – what seems to be the problem with your TV service –  I can help with that” [ Sigh – hangs up ]

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