Racist Balloons

Strange as it may seem I do feel sorry for normal air balloons compared to those silver expensive helium versions or even birthday balloons with names or numbers on. Although they are designed to bring happiness to any occasion I always feel sad for seeing those normal air types thinking they get picked on by Bigoted, Helium moneyed monsters, like cats that regard the world as theirs “and who the hell are you” – you can’t go anywhere without seeing injustice.

One thought on “Racist Balloons

  1. In making a stand for the common-or-garden air-filled balloon you are managing to cruelly neglect two of its distant cousins, both of whom receive an extremely raw deal in life. First is the condom, a balloon that rarely reaches its full dimensions unless abused by participants of stag parties who see fit to over fill it with oxygen and pull it over the top half of their heads. If used correctly, condoms have an equally hard time as they end up playing host to some random person’s penis who then proceeds to shove it where the the sun doesn’t shine before depositing their sperm in its latex confines and throwing it away.
    The other air-consuming balloon that we should spare a thought for is the poor, overlooked whoopee cushion. What a terrible, undignified life it leads being constantly filled with a mixture of air and saliva only to be violently sat on in order to emulate the audio characteristics of flatulence!
    So there you have it, balloons that find themselves sans helium, messages or numbers don’t have things too bad after all.

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